This post is for women, moms or not but this bit of insight after much pondering and putting it into practice has made me a better mother by far than I would have been without it.
For several years now I have had one little word or phrase that has been my focus for the year. I happen to follow another blogger on instagram(to be honest I had never been to the bloggers website until this day but her instagram feed was always uplifting and honest) and she had posted her one little word TADA(this was a few years back) That one little word struck me as odd and made me curious to find out the story behind it.
She went to a womens conference and the speaker(sorry I do not remember the name of the speaker or the conference) was talking about to do lists. We as women write to do lists and at the end of the day we look back at those lists and see everything that we did not accomplish(DOH). I personally at this point in time was right in that boat looking at everything that still needing to be done and to be honest I was quite hard on myself. Telling myself I wasn't good enough, I need to use my time better, that I wasn't being a good mom, daughter, wife, sister...you name it I was certainly the worst at it and that all wound up with me being less of me. I love this quote as a gentle reminder that I am not alone in those feelings, "Most people carrying heavy loads begin to doubt themselves and their own worth." President Henry B Eyring The speaker from the conference went on to say we do not take into consideration that the list would have been impossible for 10 women to accomplish it in a day and we seldom ever look at what we did do with any great achievement because of what we didn't do. She suggested instead of writing a to do list at the beginning of the day to write a TADA list at the end of the day. This for me was like a light bulb moment and my heart filled with the spirit. Why had I not ever looked back at the end of my day and looked at what I did do. I wasn't giving myself any credit for what I did accomplish . I always took prayerful thought into my to do list and what the Lord wanted me to do and I was frustrated with everything. I was swirling into a pit of situational depression. I was becoming unable to interact with the world around me and that was making everything worse.
The next day I was determined to write a TADA list at the end of the day and it was wonderful. After few weeks I was feeling back to my old self and the self doubt and depression slowly melted away. I wasn't being as hard on myself anymore and I was feeling like I was in no way perfect but I was enough and a good person which if you would have asked me 2 weeks prior I would have told you I was as about as useful as trying to light a fire on top of water. Now that I was out of my funk(and I will tell you I find myself in and out of it from time to time still) I played with it a bit and came to a nice balance(we need to remember we are all different and just because someone suggests something it might not work for you just that way but making a few adjustments does). I still needed a to do list for my own sanity so I don't forget anything important like taking popcorn into my sons class or something like that(and yes I just did that last week) but at the end of the day it gets tossed into the garbage. What I came to realize from writing these to do lists as a guide and TADA lists at the end of the day is I really could see for the first time where the Lord took my to do list and made it his TADA list. My lists became more meaningful, I could see him using me as his hands upon the earth, I could feel his spirit more fully, and I could see his blessing more fully in my life. I became more self confident as a woman, wife, mother, sister, teacher, daughter of a Heavenly Father that loves me beyond measure.
Where I stand today, there are some days when I need to write a TADA list so I can look back and feel good about what I have done and see the Lords blessings. What I have realized over time if I were to sit and compare my 2 lists my to do list is my list of what I think the Lord wants me to do and my TADA list is what he needed me to do. I am so grateful for the experience of feeling like less of a person so that I could grow and become more of who my Heavenly Father knows I am.
If you are not feeling like the best you write a TADA list...reflect on how the Lord has used you as his hands, how you were a wonderful mother today, how you blessed someone else, how you are absolutely awesome just the way you are and you have a Father in Heaven that loves you beyond measure.