I have been pondering a lot lately and didn't post A Jewel with Jewels yesterday because my mind was swirling with thoughts and feeling about my blog. Whether I should continue writing a blog or not was my main thought and then the clarity came and I felt I should share some insights of myself, a couple of videos and a conclusion of that left me with peace in my mind and my heart.
THE STORY OF ME
One of my first memories was when I was around 2 and I was building this most fantastic sandcastle with some neighborhood children. I even added a penny for the castles treasure, which made one of the children sad because it was their penny. I also added sticks and flowers to beautify my pile of sand.
As I got older around 4, I would lay on the floor with my dad and he would draw a picture and I would replicate it as best as my 4 year old abilities would allow. His tree might have been a perfect blend of yellows, reds, and oranges while mine was a little more abstract with pink and black in the mix and my horse would have stick legs but I was creating.
I soon moved on to using my own imagination and would draw pictures of houses..not any house my house and not the house I lived in my home when I was the mommy. I wish I had some of the drawing from my 5 year old ideals of my future home.
I always excelled in art class and when I was 9 I decorated my room for the first time. I was constantly moving furniture around and adding new items here and there through my teenage years and continued drawing, painting, sculpting...CREATING! When I was 17 I was given a budget and was able to redecorate my whole room from scratch, I loved black, white, and teal in those days and loved hunting down the items to makeover my bedroom.
The busy years of college and having 2 jobs hindered the time to create and then I was preparing for my first baby and creativity abounded as I was preparing for the little one to arrive. Everything from finding the perfect bedding and painting my childhood shelves to coordinate into the sweetest little nursery.
I can't sing a note or play a instrument beautifully. I can't run a marathon or score the winning goal. I can't maintain a perfectly clean and organized house or do I want to, but I can imagine and create those things my mind has so clearly envisioned...Creating is who I am at the core of my being I was born to create. The following snippet puts into words my feelings to an exactness about creating(before playing the following video you will need to pause the music by hitting pause button on the ipod in the bottom right corner):
I started this blog to document my creations so my children could see later on in life who I was as a person, so I could make them each a book of things we did together when they were children. A place where I could be me a creative woman in all areas of my life, it is who I am.
I soon realized and it has become more evident to me in the past several months that my blog has been used a measuring stick to see where they add up as a women and a mother, this was not my intent when I started my blog. I have projects that fail miserably and take time away from my children. I have flopped more meals than I care to admit and my children still think I am the best chef ever. My closets and cupboards hide all manners of discretion and as I look around now and see baskets and baskets of laundry that need to be folded and clothes to be put away, clutter on tables and counter tops, a pile of items by the front door that have been there all week.....I think if everyone could see this in the midst of my creativity there is imperfection.
I love the following video and its message of giving ourselves a break, be smart about how we spend our time, be happy NOW, and know who we are as women and what we mean to out Heavenly Father is such a powerful message I wanted to share it with you:
We are all daughters of a loving and kind Heavenly Father and He loves each one of us for who we are as individuals and as for me...
I AM CREATIVE
Who are you???
I want my children's children to know it and so the blog continues with its original intent to bless my children with a legacy of creativity!